The Met Office recently announced November to be the wettest on record but as golfers, we could have told them that by the first week of the month – let’s face it when you play golf you become obsessed with the weather! Continual downpours have turned our bunkers into ponds, our greens into marshes and our fairways are more like fenlands.
Luckily there’s some great all weather kit on the market these days, so for the newcomer to golf, here’s Ladies4Golf top tips to arrive back in the clubhouse with a bit of dignity and style:
- A waterproof top is essential but beware it can turn into a ‘boil in the bag’ with all the other clobber you’ve donned. Ok, it’s one way of sweating off a few pounds but beware you may end up with red face and look like you’ve entered the ‘hot flush’ era. One option is to buy big (that dreadful phrase frugal mothers use) but the downside is looking like a ship in full sail.
- Plastic Pants are a key item for your bag to avoid a soggy crotch and a designer ‘splatter’ look on your golfing trews. If you do decide to slip into waterproofs on the golf course then remember it takes great agility and poise to manoeuve one’s legs into a plastic gusset so take great care or you may come a cropper!
- The Wrinkled look Those clever little plastic macs that pack into the size of a 50p piece are a ‘god send’ to keep in your bag for emergencies. However, they’re tricky little devils to put on – a bit like trying to put on underwear whilst still a bit damp! Also when they’re unwrapped they tend to look like a screwed up bin bag so give them a good shake first.
- John Wayne Walk Choose your wet wear material with care as there’s many a golfer in wet weather gear who distractingly rustles up the fairway with every stride unless they adopt a John Wayne’ style of walking (arms and legs a kimbo) – most unlady like!
- Wash & Blow Dry Hats come in all shapes and sizes and are vital to avoid looking like you’ve had a very bad wash and blow dry by the end of 18 holes. Make sure your headgear can be anchored down so the wind doesn’t take it but beware it’s not too tight otherwise it act like a vice around the head, cutting of the blood supply so after a few holes you’re more fixated on your numb frontal lobes rather than your game.
- Flat Head A definite draw back of wearing hats can be the ‘flat look’, where it looks like the top of your head has been ironed. The trendy option is wearing a baseball cap, but whilst Posh makes caps looks like a fashion statement most of us just look like a mature student and end up with a sweaty head and a distinct ridge in the hair when we peel it off.
- The Joan Collins look If you’re brave enough you could pop a few rollers in your hair and cover with a large woolly hat so when you whip it off on the 18th green your hair just tumbles into a glamous bouffant!
Personally, I’ve spent most of my golfing life looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards and fully accept I might not all look as stylish and composed as Catherine Zeta-Jones when I re-enter the club house (although I always strongly suspect her caddie doubles up as a make-up artist).
Therefore my very best tip if you suspect you don’t look your best is to avoid any mirrors until you’ve downed at least a couple of glasses of ‘something strong’ in the bar as it tends to help blur the vision and by that stage, you just don’t care!
Good golfing, Claire
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